STOP Envisioning Your Future Self…

A divine message from my guardian angel on loving who You are in this moment. This message was brought in love to me and to you.

My dears You have been conditioned to believe that in order to improve Your human form that You should envision You as Your future self: a healthier self, a more beautiful self, a more balanced and secure self, whatever self You believe that You have been told You should be. While this advice is given to You in its ultimate purity and goodness its overall message is in err.

When You envision Yourselves as You think You should be then You become disappointed when the results are not immediate. Humans expect immediate results. But self improvement is not immediate and it is necessary that the process of self improvement be slow so that Your human mind has the opportunity to heal as it changes. This is essential so to not repeat negative behaviors.

When You envision Yourself not as You are but as You think You should be then You are conditioning Your mind to believe that You are not good enough as the You that You are now. But You are. You are angelic and divine. Remember that Your true heritage is within the Spiritual Plains. So my dears, You are exactly where You need to be right now in Your development and on Your path.

Accept Yourself as You are now. Love the You that You are in this very moment. Embrace Your soul-the ultimate divine You. Love Yourself as We love You and We do love You unconditionally. Remove Your human mask and get to know the inner being that is housed there. When You truly accept and love who You are in each and every moment of this walk in life then the healing process and marked self improvement of self has already begun.

With Divinity,
Your Guardian in Spirit, Mary Elizabeth

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A New Year’s Wish from Me to You

Here we go again with those pesky New Year’s Resolutions! Since it is about to be 2011, I had decided to promise myself eleven goals this year. I know, I know, I can hear you now, uggh, another one of these blogs, how boring! Who wants to read someone else’s resolutions? But I beg of you to read on, because something occurred to me as I was jotting down my goals. Okay, okay, don’t get overly excited…here they are (I promise to only post them once and then we’ll move past it):

1. Finish Musings-feel proud of my accomplishment
2. Write two more stories
3. Meditate twice a day
4. Read 36 books this year…I have so failed miserably last year
5. Try to quit smoking-forgive myself for not having done so yet
6. Eat more organically-exercise more
7. Work on trying to secure an agent
8. Go back to school-try something new
9. Travel-mend relationships and family ties
10. Face my fears-empower myself
11. ……

Number eleven: this was my A-HA moment of the year. Number eleven should actually be number one because I am not going to succeed at anything else without it and I don’t think you will either. Here it is in a tiny little nutshell:

-Love myself for who I am right now-

Now when I wrote that, I kind of patted myself on the back and told myself that it was a profound statement. But the more I truly thought about it, the more I realized that if there is any one resolution to make, it is this and only this. Not just for me, but for you too.

Imagine. Each one of us is exactly where we are supposed to be right now, whether that is due to the choices you made or the circumstances that fate offered you. Given that, if we are supposed to be where we are right now, then maybe a little forgiveness of self for past mistakes is in order. If we can forgive ourselves, then maybe we can spread a little forgiveness to others for their mistakes against us as well. How wonderful and freeing would it be to not hold any grudges?

If we state that we have a true acceptance of who we are on the outside and to all those that view us, then maybe the deeper part of us, the soul part, can express him or herself freely without that nasty fear of judgment from others. Visualize yourself doing what you love. And if we can do that, then maybe we can learn not to judge others unfairly as well. Now, visualize others being happy. What does that do to your world, if you are surrounded by them?

Ask yourself this, if you could remove all material things in the world, what would it look like? Would poverty and wealth look the same?

Now strip yourself and others of all of their clothing? Free as a bird, we are all traversing the earth, meeting and greeting each other (because there is no internet) with nothing material to give and nothing material to receive. Our body parts flapping gregariously in the wind, with no way to hide from all of our imperfections and no way to conceal those very hard tell tale signs of sensuality, your wife knocks you upside the back of your head as you stroll on by Eva Longoria, ignorant to her wealth and fame . Are you laughing?

What if you removed your skin, your bones, your mind, your organs, the cells? What are you left with? A soul? If you answered no, read another blog post – this one won’t do you much good. For all others, what do you see?

You are not fat or too skinny, there is no cellulite, you are not hairy or bald, you don’t have a bad haircut, you are not wearing that awful snowflake sweater Aunt Helen made you for Christmas; your teeth aren’t crooked or yellow, you have no blemishes or disabilities, no illness, no addictions. And Hell, for all you narcissists out there…You are not hot, no hard bodies. No Eva Longoria, here. No.

Look past all of it: What do you see?

It is you, the real you, the part of you that feels self love or the lack of it, your mind doesn’t feel love, nor does your heart…they are just organs and these organs react to how YOUR energy moves them.

So now, what do you love about yourself? Is it your creativity, your kindness, your gusto? Have you been so preoccupied with the world, that you ignored you?

I do see the ME and all my profound gifts. But when I stripped myself of all the above, I also FELT pain-because I forgot to nourish and love myself, my true self.

What did you feel?

I am left to wonder that If I become “right” with myself here, then what are my possibilities after I slip back into my cells, my organs, my mind, my bones, and my skin and then take back all of my clothes and material possessions. Would everything else just simply fall in place? Yes, I think so.

It’s a choice really, a choice to be a little more selfish and love myself as I am at this very moment. And a choice to wish you the opportunity to strip yourself of all the things that do not matter at least once daily and to give yourself a chance at self-love and all the blessings that come with it. This wish from me to you is for 2011 and beyond because, as I believe in my soul, there is nothing greater to wish for.

Happy New Year! Xo
2010 may not have always been Zen, but 2011 could be heaven!

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Check out my new blog: Psychological Minds in Ink at www.dawnjoyce.wordpress.com

The Angel, The Wolf and The Moon

Angel in white, guardian of soul
Her name seeded in my mind
I, amazed by her profound presence
But, forbidden to see her face

Gifted the sight of the wolf and the moon
Knowing the truth lies between
And aware, light doth lay in the dark
Hushing an indoctrinate fear

Angel in white, guardian of soul
I, thankful for the vision
Blessed path, walking forth, not alone
For now I know my route is clear

The wolf defends, the moon enlightens
I, immersed in its truth
My soul bound by your golden aura
I walk until we meet again

Heated excerpt of Musings of Lavender

Well, I had to dive into a fantasy. It needs to be heated, a little naughty, but not so dirty that it belongs in another genre! Keep in mind, my girl here is a sexual saddist. How did I do?

“Yes.” Special Agent Cameron Michaels finally spoke. Michaels was the older of the two men, probably in his fifties, and Sage had guessed that he was the man in charge. For an older man, he was undeniably handsome with blonde hair and deep, dark, green eyes; even though she was merely eighteen he was the kind of man any woman wouldn’t mind entertaining a one night stand with. His features were rugged and the lines that caressed his face showed the wear and tear that his career had left on him. Strong and confident, he seemed to look through her and for a moment, she wildly imagined him springing up from the couch, grabbing her violently and forcefully thrusting her onto the hard wooden floor that lay beneath them. Her heart began to pound as she faced him trying to remain calm but aching to go deeper into her fantasy. And as he took his glass and gulped his water she started to envision him teasing her with the brute strength of his wet, cold, supple lips against the heated bare flesh of her inner thigh. A piercing agony of desire tantalized her and she imaged him taking her, ravishing her right there in the living room without a thought or care that anyone else was left in the room. Her whole body tingled and a flash of heat rose from deep within her, she took a deep breath and fully exhaled as she tried to escape the surrealism. Get it together Sage, she told herself, get it together.

Being thankful this Thanksgiving

Being thankful on this Thanksgiving

The 72nd Verse of the Tao and the chapter titled living with Awe and Acceptance from my favorite author Dr. Wayne Dyer. I am a fan.

When people lack a sense of awe,
There will be disaster.
When people do not fear worldly power,
A greater power will arrive.
Do not limit the view of yourself
Do not despise the conditions of your birth
Do not resist the natural course of your life
In this way you will never weary of this world
Therefore the sage knows himself
But makes no show of himself
Loves himself
But does not exalt himself
He prefers what is within to what is without.

Today is Thanksgiving. I have given this quite a bit of thought. What am I thankful for?

I could tell you that I am thankful that I have a remarkable child, who makes me proud every single day. Because I am. I could tell you that I am thankful for surviving as a single mom who has lost her job and doesn’t see one in sight. And I am. I suppose I should even say that I am thankful for the beautiful and amazing friends in my life who give me charge every day. Yes, my friends I am. And to the family I miss and the family I have close by, for mending broken hearts and relationships, I am. To my guardian angels, spirit guides and God, oh yes, I am. To the military, police, fire, and medical folks who put themselves on the line and sacrifice their time with family so that we can have a better life, most definitely I am.

But if I dig just a little deeper to find what I am most thankful for, I can’t help but to say, I am thankful for everything. For all the good, all the pain, the bad decisions, the good ones, the struggles and the triumphs…because they gave me experience, and made me who I am today.

Without pain I would never appreciate love the way I do. Without bad experiences, I wouldn’t know what it was like to feel good when something wondrous happened. And without mistakes, I would not know what it was like to have support and guidance from the presence of the heavens.

Ole Willie Nelson put it best when he said, “When I started counting my blessings, my whole life turned around.”

Life is good. Even when it is at its toughest, it is good. We mere mortals are on this earth plain to learn so we can appreciate the all the wonders and goodness of the afterlife. I truly believe that. I ask you for one day to stay positive in everything you do, in all of your efforts and struggles. For one single day, love others unconditionally; give of yourself when you can, be thankful for EVERYTHING because that is the truest light of God’s work. And if by the end of the day, you feel good, amazingly good, try it again tomorrow.

By the way:
Ok, so you may be wondering…what’s up with the sunflower? I would like you to take a look at the head of the sunflower. Do you see them? All of those little seeds? The new lives they represent…think back on your life and the changes you have gone through, the many new lives you have begun. It all starts with a single seed, with love and care it can grown into a beautiful sunflower, a beautiful life.

Musings of Lavender-Chapter Five Excerpt

“The psychologist looked at us and told us very simply that Sal had sociopathic tendencies.” Ramos shook his head as if he was still in disbelief of the doctor’s very straightforward demeanor. “He stated it as if he was giving us a diagnosis of the flu.”

Agent Crimson seemed concerned, “Did you even understand what that meant?”

“It was 1961, we knew it was bad but you just didn’t hear of things like that back then. The media hype was different, the education was different, the subject was taboo,” he stopped to shrug his shoulders, “I suppose we all knew there were serial killers out there, you know, in the world,” Ramos voice was becoming elevated telling the agents that he felt he should defend himself, “way out there in the world, but they didn’t come in the form of children and they didn’t grow up in our homes.” He laughed sarcastically as he started to calm down, “I suppose, we thought wrong.”

Agent Jones was curious, “What did the Psychologist suggest?”

“He told us that we needed to teach him love and empathy, because he didn’t have the natural God given abilities to feel affection for others or to have compassion for others struggles and triumphs.” Ramos gave a quick short cough, “we had our work cut out for us because of course in order to teach love and empathy, we had to consistently show love and empathy and my wife and I, as you could imagine, were in a very dark place.”

Ramos was growing somber; he cupped his face in his hands, hiding his emotions. “He also concluded that we needed to continue with individual counseling for Sal twice a week and family counseling once a week. He told us that if things started to escalate that he would recommend to family court that Sal be institutionalized.” Ramos scratched his head and smiled, “Oh my young friends, that is how you know you have grown old and wise” He looked to Agent Jones and pressed his hand firmly against his, “ You see, hindsight really is as clear as twenty-twenty vision, having him committed was the only obvious choice now but instead we chose to run.” He sat back on his chair gazing into the deep, dark, essence of the bayou through the glass panes. The air looked cold and heavy. “We ran away from sanity and headed straight into hell.”

Musings of Lavender Chapter Excerpt

Chapter Four: An Accidental Murder

Lavi looked at the fear in Sage’s face and then turned to Steven. “You know Steven, this has all been fun and games, but in the end my alliance is to my sister. We have a pact; we have always had a pact.”

“What is that supposed to mean?” Steven was still accelerating his speed in the black BMW.

Lavi looked back at Sage in the middle seat whose fearful face had now turned to an expression of confusion. Lavi gave her a wink and a menacing smile. “It means, Steven, that it is time for you to go.”

Steven laughed arrogantly, “Go? I am not going anywhere.”

Lavi kept her gaze on her little sister, “Yes you are, you are going to Hell.”

Stevens reaction quickly changed to anger, “Excuse me?”

Lavi turned around again to face Steven, his speed had now accelerated to over ninety miles an hour on a highway littered with traffic. Lavi was confident, bold, and acted without fear, traits that Sage wished she had possessed, “I said you are going to Hell.” Lavi gripped the parking brake and laughed, “And you are going right now.”

Musings of Lavender Chapter Excerpt

Chapter Three: Happy Birthday Lavi

Agent Michaels returned to the apartment and found Sage washing grapes by the kitchen sink. She had changed out of her formal funeral black dress and was wearing grey sweat capri’s that rested snugly on her hips. She had on a tight fitting white shirt, worn thin and semi-opaque.

She turned to look at him continuing to wash the grapes, “I hope you and Agent North do not mind but I felt that I would feel better if I dressed more comfortably.” She shook off the grapes and placed them in a bowl next to the sink. She turned to look at him, drying her hands on a paper towel, her nipples taut beneath the shirt, from the angle and the light they appeared to look violet.

Michaels, trying hard not to be unnerved by the situation turned towards the room they were interviewing her in earlier resting his back along the counter, “No, not at all.”

Sage grabbed the glass bowl and motioned it to him, “Grapes?”